two lives
18 May 2012 1 Comment
in Christianity
I’ve been thinking about two women I know. One has had a pretty miserable life. She got divorced after years in a terrible marriage, during which marriage she went through years of infertility before finally adopting. Although she remarried, the divorce affected her relationship with her children in a negative way, which in turn affected her marriage. She ended up living far from her family and only sees them on rare occasions. Recently she went through cancer and while she was undergoing chemotherapy, her husband lost his job and they had to sell their house and take an apartment.
The other woman is just one of the happiest people you’d ever want to meet. She has a great job, an amazing marriage, a loving family and good friends. She is always ready to give God praise for what he is doing in her life. She has been blessed in many ways – from adopting a daughter when she thought it was impossible to a comfortable, sunny home that she decorated with love and creativity. She enjoys visiting with her children and grandchildren whenever possible. Recently, she also went through cancer, and is now completely healthy. She loves to tell about how God brought her through and how his love not only sustained her but gave her joy and amazing peace.
I’m sure by now you’ve figured out that these are the same person, and many of you also know that it’s me. Same circumstances, different viewpoint. Everything is true in both descriptions – the only thing that changes is which I choose to focus on. Which woman do I choose to be each morning?
I have a dear friend who is struggling terribly right now. Everything in her life looks dark and hard and unfair. It would be easy for me to point out all the good things she has going for her, and tell her to just change her outlook, but I’ve spent too much of my own life being in that dark place. I know that being told to “just count your blessings” isn’t even a little helpful. Someday I hope she will come to understand that from within herself, but until then I will do my best to just be there and care. And keep letting her know that Jesus loves her, even if she isn’t quite feeling that right now either.
lost in the mall
11 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in Christianity, Faith, God, Religion Tags: lost in the mall, righteousness
Today I got lost in the mall. I believe that I am the only person on earth that can get lost in a mall, especially one I have shopped many times. (Many, many times. Check my closet.) I came in through an entrance that I generally don’t use, and it’s an unusual one with a fairly long hall before you actually enter the mall.
When it came time to leave, I couldn’t find that hall. I knew I was back in the right area – there were Scooters and Suncoast and the kiddy playland… I walked around the playland so many times I’m surprised nobody called the police to report a suspicious person stalking the children. I wandered up and down that little end of the mall like the kid who gets his bumper car stuck in the corner and can’t get out – just bounces off the wall, over and over, in the same corner. In my mind, everyone was staring and pointing, wondering what that crazy redhead was doing walking in circles, looking a little bit wild and disoriented. In reality, I’m sure nobody paid any attention to me, but at the time I felt like I had a neon sign over my head that said “Too stupid to find her way out of a mall.”
Eventually I found the exit (totally by accident) and escaped before the police came to take me away from the kids. But, of course, being lost in the mall made me think about righteousness (what else?)
Last Sunday I asked my community group , “How righteous were you this week?” The reactions ranged from “Do you mean while I was asleep?” to “Well… great, on occasions…”
I asked them to turn to two scriptures:
You are partners with Christ Jesus because of God. Jesus has become our wisdom sent from God, our righteousness, our holiness, and our ransom from sin. I Corinthians 1:30
Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. Philippians 3:8-9
We talked about the fact that our righteousness before God doesn’t depend on what we do or don’t do, but on the fact of our faith in Jesus. When God looks at me, he sees Jesus. He doesn’t see my failures and faults and screwups. Does that mean I should just do whatever I want and not worry about it? Exactly the opposite! Knowing how deeply God loves and accepts me, and everything he did to save me, makes me want to obey him and please him – not out of an attempt to win his approval, but out of a desire to show my love and gratitude. The more I understand God’s forgiveness, patience, and unconditional love for me, the less I want to go against his will. I find it easier and easier to believe that what he wants for me must be the best even if I don’t see or understand it.
Righteousness doesn’t come from doing good works, or from hanging on with both hands till my knuckles are white to keep from doing the “bad things”. When I try to do it myself I might bite my tongue when someone annoys me but the thoughts that go through my mind are definitely not kind or patient. (I have to admit they can be pretty funny sometimes. Well, in a mean way… Yeah, I guess that isn’t funny, is it. But it sure seems like it at the time.) When I try to manufacture my own righteousness I may read the Bible, but it’s because I “should”, and I do it to check it off my list. Maybe I’ll get something meaningful from it, maybe I won’t- but it’s not coming from a heart of desire to be in the presence of God. Sometimes I try so hard to achieve something I already have, and end up with a very poor imitation.
Righteousness, by God’s definition, isn’t about what I do at all. It’s about being covered and surrounded with the grace of Jesus. And that comes simply by putting my faith in him.
Ok, I can hear you asking “What does this have to do with your pathetic/funny misadventure in the mall?” I’ll tell you. (Don’t forget, patience is a fruit of the Spirit.) I started thinking about how many attempts I made to leave the mall but kept hitting dead ends. I was pretty positive I knew the way, so much so that I went to the same place three different times, and guess what? There was a wall there every single time. You would think that I would have figured it out after the first time, but no, I had to keep going back to see if maybe the exit mysteriously appeared where I “knew” it was.
But the truth was, there was only one way out. It didn’t matter what I thought or how many times I tried to make my way work. I wasn’t leaving till I found the way and followed it. Living in righteousness, walking in the Spirit, is very much the same. I can keep bouncing off the walls in my little bumper car for as long as I like. I can keep going to the same wall expecting it to open up. But I’m not going to get anywhere until I follow the only actual path that is open. My only job is to follow, and to stop trying so hard. So why is that harder than it sounds?
wide open spaces
05 May 2012 1 Comment
in Christianity, God, Religion Tags: negative thinking, thinking, wide open spaces
Our best friends moved into their new house last weekend (then left for Disney World two days later, but that’s another story entirely. It will suffice to give you an understanding of my bestie’s personality to say that the house is totally unpacked and looks like they have lived there for years, other than a few pictures that still need to be hung. When we moved, I had boxes for months. Months. Some never got unpacked, just eventually moved to storage since I figured if I hadn’t needed whatever was in there yet, I didn’t need it.)
While we were unpacking the kitchen, Marty was giving me instructions on how things should be put away. ”That bowl goes inside of those two.” ”These pans all stack together.” Eventually she realized that she had a brand-new kitchen with just about double the cupboard space of the previous house, a center island with storage, and a huge walk-in pantry. Stuff didn’t have to be stacked and piled together to fit, just because that was the way it had always been. It could go into the places that had been prepared for it, and the kitchen would be much easier to use.
That got me thinking about my life. How often do I keep pushing thoughts or ideas into the little cramped places that they used to go, instead of all the wide open space God has designed? How many times do I tell myself I’m not really worth much, or that God can use other people because they are talented (smart, spiritual, young, fill in the blank…) but not me? How many times do I revert to old patterns of reacting instead of responding in love or patience? How often do I waste time and emotional energy beating myself up for things of the past that God has forgiven and I can’t change?
It’s kind of interesting to realize that when I squeeze my thinking into the tiny dark cupboards, my emotions go right along and I start to feel small and dark and squeezed. I don’t feel open and happy and ready for whatever God wants to bring my way. But when I realize it, and throw open the doors and let in the light and move out into the wide open space that God made just for me – I can breathe and dance and laugh and move. I can praise and I can think clearly.
Now, I’m married to a very black and white kind of guy. He’s not crazy about metaphors and similes. (You may have noticed that I love metaphors like Brett Favre loves retirement speeches.) And, to be fair, I don’t especially like reading books that tell me I can have a wonderful relationship with God but never say how. So, I do want to (as Dr. Phil says) put some verbs in my sentences. When I say “throw open the doors and let in the light”, I mean stop dwelling on the lies. Stop thinking the thoughts that don’t line up with the Word of God. Instead, read or speak the Word of God as it applies to that situation. If I don’t have a specific scripture, open up the Word and start reading until I feel like I’m back where I need to be. If I can’t do that at the time, pray. Focus on scriptures that remind me of who I am in Christ. If possible, connect with another believer who will build me up. And focus on doing something for someone else.
Do I always do this? Of course not. I am so far from perfect, if perfect was the World Series, I’d be the Cubs. But I am getting better every day, and you know why? Because I am confident that he who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. It’s not up to me. I just have to be willing.
By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that’s not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. Romans 5:1-2 Msg
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