my last day

Today is my last day of being just normal me.  Tomorrow at 10:45  Sam and I go to the oncologist to find out if I have cancer.  I don’t expect to be surprised.  The doctor said she would call me as soon as she got the test results, but the only call we got was one telling us to come in tomorrow.   I’m pretty sure that doesn’t mean good news.  So I spent this past weekend trying to truly live in the moment, knowing that everything will change soon.  I will become a patient, and my life will become about treatment, and whatever that entails.

So far my last normal day has been exactly that, very normal.  I got up, went to work and came home.  I keep feeling like I should do something while I’m still officially “healthy”, but I don’t know what.  I did look at shoes for a little while after work, but I got tired too soon to really enjoy it.  I feel like I should get some last hurrah – almost like a bachelorette party for my healthy self  – but I definitely don’t want a party.  Just something.

I did get a fantastic gift though – I found a Bible verse that I feel that God just gave me directly.  It’s amazing.  It’s Isaiah 41:13 and it says: I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand and say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid; I will help you’.

I’m going to be ok- whether or not I’m well.  God is holding my hand, telling me not to be afraid, he’s going to help me.  Seriously.  What could be better than that?

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8 thoughts on “my last day

  1. Amazibg blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers?

    I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
    Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option?

    There are so many choices out there that I’m toptally confused ..
    Any tips? Bless you!

  2. Kim: When I read your blog it brought me back to the time when I found out my dad had cancer. It really rocks one’s world, and yet with Christ there is hope. May you feel God’s compassion and care for you during this time. Cast all your burdens upon Him, for He cares for YOU. Carolyn

    • Thank you for all the love and prayers. Carolyn, your dad was an amazing example to me of how to walk hand-in-hand with the Lord through a struggle, just as he was during the rest of his life.

  3. Kim–
    We were really saddened to hear of your illness. Know that you and Sam are in our thoughts and prayers. Keep the Bible verse in your mind…it reminds me of the “Footprints” piece–when you only see one set on the beach it is because that’s when God was carrying you–not deserting you. We will keep checking your blog so that we can stay in touch. Ross and Sue

  4. Hi Kimmie, I truly admire you for being so strong and hopeful through this. I am positive you will be fne, I will be thinking of you tomorrow and I will be praying for you tonight. I love you, hang in there for all f us that love you so dearly. Good luck, Mama Kim.
    -Noomie

  5. Kim, You are so eloquent. And I love the verse you discovered; LOVE those kisses from Heaven. =D We’re praying for a complete healing. Thank you for letting us walk with you on this part of your journey.
    Love you,
    Trisha, Jessica & Brandon

  6. Feel the love and support of those around you, Kim. . . prayers will lift you above it all. You have a loving family, immediate and extended. . . let them do the heavy lifting for you. Focus on getting healthy. . . and who knows, maybe tomorrow will bring something other than what you are expecting. Love you, Deanna and John

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