am i supposed to feel this happy?

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This morning I went to the doctor to find out what the test results were.  I was ready for what I thought I would hear – I had googled adrenal gland cancer, and read that by the time symptoms show up, it is usually advanced enough that it has spread to the bones and lungs.  Huh.  The doctor had ordered a bone scan and a chest CT, and I knew the mass on my adrenal gland was quite large.  So I was prepared to hear that it was advanced, had spread, and we would try but it wasn’t very hopeful.

Instead, we heard that nothing showed up on any of the scans (other than the lymph nodes and adrenal gland mass that we already knew about).  Nothing in my bones, my lungs, my neck.  No other lymph nodes.

The biopsy is not finished being cultured or grown or examined or whatever else pathology wants to do with it, but at this point it looks like it is “just” lymphoma.  We can’t say for certain until we have the definite diagnosis, but it looks good.  Good? Yes, good – lymphoma is treatable – in fact, the doctor used the word curable.  I’m not going to die.  Not yet anyway.

Getting well is not going to be fun.  Just getting the diagnosis is going to suck.  I have a bone marrow biopsy coming up and possibly a surgical lymph node biopsy.  But it is going to be ok.

God is holding my hand, telling me not to be scared…

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3 thoughts on “am i supposed to feel this happy?

  1. Ross and Sue

    Kim–we were so sorry to hear of your illness. Please know that you and Sam are in our thoughts and prayers…we know that you will come shining through the treatments to beat this, it might not be easy, but beat it you will…Ross and Sue

  2. Michelle

    I think I’m just going to tell you – constantly – that I love you. And I’m praying. And that you are an amazing woman who has touched so many lives. Of course it’s “just” lymphoma. It has to be “just”, and it has to be treatable, and it has to be curable because God simply isn’t done with you yet. There is so much more for you to do here that this is just a little speed bump. You know the kind… the ones they build in the middle of long straight roads so people slow down, take a look around and take notice of their surroundings.

  3. djorgen@charter.net

    Kim. . . you are rightfully looking at the cup half full. Wow! To hear it is treatable an even curable is wonderful! Yup, treatment will suck but your faith will sustain you, as will the love, prayers and support of family and friends. Hang tough girl. . . . this is very, very do-able!! Love you, Deanna

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