why not me?

Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?” Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines. When night falls, the workday is over. For as long as I am in the world, there is plenty of light. I am the world’s Light.”   John 9: 1-5  MSG


vs 5  “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.  (NLT)

vs 5 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.  (NIV)

I’ve been asked, more than once, by more than one person, if I wonder “why me?”  If I wonder why God let this happen to me, why he didn’t protect me and prevent cancer from attacking me.  If God loves me like I say he does, why would he let this kind of crisis come into my life, especially when I spend my life serving him to the best of  my ability?

The truth is no, I don’t.  I’m not trying to sound all super-spiritual here, but I really don’t.  As soon as we heard that it was probably cancer, Sam and I knew that this was something in our lives specifically for the glory of God.  He has used it already in many ways, and I know that there are many we probably will never know about, and more still to come.  Ways involving other people, and also ways involving me, helping me grow in my knowledge and trust and faith.

But the flip side of that question is “why not me?”  Why should I be spared over anyone else?  Why should my life be give special treatment?  For that matter, what have I ever done to deserve the plethora of blessings and gifts that I currently enjoy?  Why can I go to a beautiful church and worship with amazing music, and hug my friends and invite my neighbors, when so many Christians around the world have to worship in secret, knowing that their freedom or even lives are at risk every moment?  Why do I have a lovely, warm home with three bedrooms (for two people), a fireplace, two bathrooms, and two cars when half the world would love to eat the amount of food we throw away every week?  Why was I born in a loving, functional, godly family when so many kids grow up abused, neglected, and unwanted?  Why do I have the most wonderful man I have ever met for a husband when I was part of breaking up my first marriage and my kids’ home?

Do I deserve any of this?  Is it because I’m so wonderful?  Absolutely not!  Believe me, I wouldn’t want a video made of my day-to-day life – all the  moments when the public mask isn’t on, when the me I’m not so fond of comes out.  Would you?

I don’t deserve any of these blessings.  It’s all the grace of God.  His undeserved gift.  And if I can take all this and so very much more – not to mention the greatest gift ever, salvation, given freely by the death of the Son of God himself! – if I can accept all of this from God’s hand, how can I possibly second guess him in something because it’s not comfortable or pleasant or easy for me?

Either my life is in God’s hands or it’s not – and if it is, than I believe that he has a reason and a plan for everything.  I exist here on earth for more than just to be comfortable and happy and have things easy and be spoiled.  I am grateful beyond words for all God has given me, and my deepest hope is that the power of God can be displayed in me.

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