It’s 5:30 in the morning and I’ve finally given up the battle for sleep. I’m running my second hot bath in the last 6 hours, trying to get a little respite. I am in serious pain at this point. The headache and bone and joint pain from the shot for my white count are just unbearable. I don’t know how to deal with this kind of pain.
Having had fibromyalgia for so many years, I thought that I was pretty well set to deal with pain, but this is on a whole other level. I feel like someone is trying to tear my body apart limb by limb, and explode my skull from the inside. I don’t have an inch that doesn’t hurt, and because of the liver problems, I am very limited on what I can take for pain meds.
And now my soul is poured out within me; Days of affliction have seized me. At night it pierces my bones within me, And my gnawing pains take no rest. Job 30:16-17
Hear me, LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; 3 have mercy on me, Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
for I put my trust in you.
5 You, Lord, are forgiving and good,
abounding in love to all who call to you.
6 Hear my prayer, LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.
7 When I am in distress, I call to you,
because you answer me.
Psalm 86: 1-7