Our church runs an annual dinner theater, and for the last few years Sam and I have taken part in the musical part of it. This year I had to beg off because of my physical condition, knowing I wouldn’t be able to guarantee participation at practices. As it turned out, that was a good thing, because my voice has become quite weak and sometimes even quavery, and I wouldn’t be a great addition as a musical act.
Sam, however, is the soloist of a quartet performing the Banana Boat Song (you know, the Day-O, Day-ay-ay-o song), and is part of a backup chorus on There Is Nothin Like A Dame. When I tried to buy a ticket for a performance, the head of the drama ministry told me to just put on a costume and mingle and greet people for the two performances, so I could still be part of what was going on. That was really nice, and I appreciated it.
Tonight was the first performance. I have to admit, it was a little hard once in a while, not being on stage at all. It’s something I do enjoy. I have been totally sidelined since starting treatment. I stepped down from choir several months before my diagnosis, for several reasons, one being trying to lessen some committments in an attempt to better control my fibromyalgia. Since my treatment started, I haven’t been involved in praise team, for the same reason I didn’t do the dinner theater – inability to guarantee reliability. But it was great to be included tonight and be part of the fun. And Sam was wonderful, along with all the other acts.
I’m feeling positive about where I am physically right now. A couple of days ago I skinned a finger – just peeled it back like peeling a carrot (sorry, I know that squicked everybody). Yesterday morning it looked pretty inflamed and I was worried, but it seems to be healing, so that means I have enough white cells to fight infection at least at a minimal level.
We are still in the same place of praying, trusting and waiting as far as a job for Sam. He has filled out so many applications I think he could do it with his eyes closed. It is very discouraging when he has to spend sometimes 90 minutes or so online filling out a personality test, application, aptitude test – just to get a form rejection an hour later with no opportunity to even talk to a human being. We know that God has a plan and a reason for everything that is happening, and a timing for the right job. We also know that there may need to be an interim “right now” job before the right job. We are just trying to hold onto keeping our eyes on Jesus and not on the circumstances. Sometimes that is not as easy as other times. I guess that’s why God allows us these times, to practice, to grow our faith.
Long enough, God— you’ve ignored me long enough.
I’ve looked at the back of your head
long enough. Long enough
I’ve carried this ton of trouble,
lived with a stomach full of pain.
Long enough my arrogant enemies
have looked down their noses at me.
Take a good look at me, God, my God;
I want to look life in the eye,
So no enemy can get the best of me
or laugh when I fall on my face.
I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms—
I’m celebrating your rescue.
I’m singing at the top of my lungs,
I’m so full of answered prayers.
Psalm 13 MSG