radioactive me


Yesterday I went for new scans to find out if the chemotherapy has been doing its job.  If so, the scans will come back normal, and I will have two more rounds of chemo just to make sure everything is really, really gone – and I will be declared cancer-free!  The hard part now is waiting for the results.  I don’t have a definite day that I will hear.  In fact, it’s kind of up in the air, because my doctor is out this week (we think she’s sick because we overheard the nurse talking), so we don’t know what we will find out when or from whom.  So, the test results join the growing pile of things that are in the “we don’t know, we have no control, we have to just leave this in God’s hands” category.   Obviously something we still need work on.  🙂

The first test yesterday was a PET scan.  This checks all my lymph glands for cancer.  To prepare for this test, I was hooked up to an IV which was used to put radioactive material into my bloodstream.   Sam had to stay in the waiting room, and at one point asked why he couldn’t be with me.  He was told it was because I was radioactive.  Not the materials they were using.  Me.  Wow, I feel kind of like Spiderman, only without the webs and the costume.  And the crimefighting.  The great part was I had a private little room with a recliner, a TV, and the world’s nicest nurses, who just kept bringing me heated blankets and tucking me in all day.

The PET scan itself was kind of like an MRI, but not as claustrophobic or as loud, and it only took around 15 minutes (I think- I dozed off while I was in it.)

After that there was a CT scan.  By then it was about 11 a.m. and I had nothing to drink or eat since the night before.  I was so thirsty I was glad to drink the pretty nasty-tasting contrast drink.  They let Sam come back and be with me in my little room, so I guess I wasn’t dangerous anymore.  I had to wait an hour or so after drinking the contrast, and then the scan, which only took about 10 minutes.  So for less than half an hour of scans, I was at the hospital from 8:00 till after 1:00, to let “stuff” make its way through my system so it would show up when the pictures were taken.

Once that material was dripped into my vein, there was no way of hiding the fact that I was radioactive.  It would show up on any scan.  I didn’t ask, but I bet it would show up on a Geiger counter.  Once I drank that contrast, it was going to work its way through my system.  Both of those materials were, at least for that time, part of me.  But they needed time to completely work their way through me, to be ready at the exact right time.

As I thought about that, I realized it was a great word picture for my relationship with God.  Once the Spirit of God came into my life, there was no hiding it, no denying it.  But it took time to permeate all the different parts of my life – in fact, that’s an ongoing process.  Every day, God shows me areas that he wants to touch and improve.  God’s power and strength and love radiate through me, hopefully affecting others, ready for just the right moment to show up and show that HE is the source of the glow.

As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness.  I Peter 1:15 MSG

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God.  I Peter 1:18

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.  Galatians 2:20




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