termites

Standard

Guess what the termite inspector found?  First two guesses don’t count.

Actually, it’s not quite as bad as it sounds.  He found termites in the storage shed.  The house is still fine.  However, de-termiting the shed and termite-proofing the house will still cost many hundreds of dollars.  Termiting-proofing the house consists of drilling holes around the perimeter of the foundation and putting sticks of “termite-be-gone” in the ground.

We have lived here for four years with no clue that we had termites.  I have no idea how long it would have taken for them to get from the shed to the house, or how long they would have been in the house doing damage without us being aware, if we hadn’t had it checked out.

There are some termites in my life right now.  They aren’t attacking my foundations, but they are silently digging in and being destructive, almost unnoticed.

A couple of relationships are disappointing to me.  The people involved aren’t responding to me the way I think they should.  I catch myself thinking that I deserve better.  I catch myself thinking “Fine, if that’s the way you want to be…”  I catch myself thinking “Even with cancer they treat me like that?”

Recently I have been feeling pretty whiny about not feeling so well.  The chemo has been getting a bit quicker to make me feel lousy, and making me feel worse.  Little things like sores in my nose that just won’t heal are bothering me much more than they probably should.

Knowing that we have to move in just a few weeks is kind of overwhelming,  The thought of leaving the home that I worked so hard to make beautiful is hard for me.  All of these are things that could be little termites in my life.  I’m trying to look at them, inspect them before they get in and do any serious damage.  I am trying to set up the perimeter that keeps them away from my foundation.

Honestly, the relationship issue is the one that is hardest.  That is the one that is crawling in and nibbling at the floorboards.  It’s hard for me to keep it in the right perspective.  This is where the analogy breaks down – I can’t kill the termites, because I still want the relationships.  Unless the “termites” are my responses to the relationships and not the relationships themselves.  Maybe that’s it – what needs to be stopped is my attitude toward them.  Much easier said than done, but I will try.  I will protect the foundation of my belief and my heart and not let little things attack it.

Lord, some of this stuff is a lot harder than others…

And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.   Philippians 4:7

Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.  Hebrews 12:15

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “termites

  1. grace haas

    I feel the acquaintances who are disappointing you are doing a “self-preservation” act. If they separate themselves from the reality of what is happening to you, they can numb the pain the knowledge brings them – akin to what drugs and/or alcohol does for users. You are doing so well, and you will soon be done with treatments – keep smiling, my girl; those of us who are following you and lifting you up to God are winners with you! Love you. . . .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s