sick day

Bed rest is boring.  I’m sure the fact that I don’t feel well and so nothing is enjoyable makes it more boring, but still, bed rest is boring.

I went to see my doctor yesterday, or actually,I saw the nurse practitioner at the Cancer Center, since my doctor was at a different location.  I went because I’ve been feeling just plain rotten and my husband said it was time to call the doctor.  So call I did, and of course they said “Come here”, which is what I didn’t want to do.  I didn’t want to because I didn’t want to be sitting there, I wanted to be home in bed.  I had gone to work and was absolutely all in, and just wanted to lie down.  More than Oprah wants to rule the airwaves, I wanted to lie down.

But we went, and I waited in the waiting room for them to draw blood, then I waited in an exam room to see the nurse practitioner.  She asked me a lot of questions and said she was really sure in her heart that what I was going through was just the effects of many rounds of chemo and the cumulative effects on the body, BUT, just to be safe she wanted a CT scan of my chest to make sure I didn’t have a blood clot.  She gave me a sheet of paper to take to the front desk, where the lovely lady (I adore all the people at the Cancer Center, I want to make that very clear) called the Imaging Department and tried to schedule the CT, which took maybe 10 minutes but felt like an hour.  Sam handled this while I curled up on a chair.

Once this was done we were to go to the Imaging Department, but I looked so sick that the nice desk lady suggested to Sam that he use one of the wheelchairs to take me there, and I didn’t even object.  We went to the ID and went to Scheduling, where we spent about 20 minutes or so with another incredibly nice lady, who did her best to get me into a CT scan, except the order hadn’t been put into the computer by someone else.  And all the pre-scan paperwork had to be filled out, even though I had just gotten the same scan two weeks ago.

By this time we had been at the hospital for an hour and a half, and I knew that this scan required contrast, waiting time for the contrast to circulate, the test itself, waiting time for it to be read and the results to get to the doctor (or NP), and waiting time for the NP to see us, so I could see at least another two hours ahead of us.  I did something I have never done before in my life.  I didn’t follow the doctor’s orders.  (I can see my mother’s look of horror as she reads this… sorry mom.)  I was and am sure that the pain when I breathe is muscular (I can feel the spasm in my back) and there is no blood clot.  The NP had basically said the same thing and I felt the test was mostly in the “cover-the-hospital’s-butt” category.  So I just said, “I don’t want to do this”.  Sam said, “I know honey, I know you don’t feel well” and I said, “No, you don’t understand.  I don’t want to do this.  I want to go home.”

So we returned the wheelchair to the Cancer Center (Sam wasn’t all that thrilled with my decision either) and the NP met us and said that she thought that skipping the test was perfectly fine, that I should have at least a couple of days of bed rest, and if I didn’t feel better in a couple of days I should come back and take the test.

Which is the story of how I ended up in bed today.  But hopefully not tomorrow.  I really can’t afford to miss another day of work and I didn’t feel too bad today as long as I wasn’t up too long.   And now, I need to go to sleep, which is a good way to end a day in bed.

When you lie down, you will not be afraid.   As you lie there, your sleep will be sweet.  Proverbs 3:24

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2 thoughts on “sick day

  1. It’s nice to make a decision and don’t care what people think. Just goes to prove how strong and brave you truly are. And I honestly believe any decision you make at the present moment is the right decision. Me, a coward at heart. I would be concerned about what people thought of me and them wondering what a crazy person I am! Glad you stood up for yourself in a matter of speaking while curled up on a chair!! Take care. God is Good!!

    • It was truly very unlike me. I’m usually a very “good” patient, but sometimes the body overrides the need to please! Also, one of the most life-changing things I have ever done is a Bible study class I took last year called Search for Significance. The book is available at any good bookstore, and it doesn’t have to be studied in a class, but it freed me of the need to do what “they” think is right, or worry about if “they” like me. And that for me, that is unbelievably huge.

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