this house is not my home


For four years I have poured love, paint and all the decorating talent I have into making this little yellow house as warm and welcoming as possible.  It’s the first place I’ve lived as an adult that I truly felt was “home”. For as long as I can remember I have had a recurring dream of walking through a small, dark house and opening doors to find hidden rooms that were sunlit and open and cheerful.  In the dream I would be amazingly happy walking into those rooms, and then sad on waking up to realize that it was just the dream again.  Since we bought this house, I stopped having that dream.

But the time has come for this little piece of the dream to end.  The house has indeed sold, and we are surrounded by stacks and stacks of boxes, and empty closets and cupboards.  It’s that awkward time when too much is packed to live comfortably but there’s still a couple of days till we actually move.  We’re eating on paper plates and plastic utensils.  I picked out clothes for the rest of the week, and this morning realized I wished I had left out a sweater or two as well.

It’s hard, saying goodbye to a place that I love.  I’ve been happy here.  I’ve gotten to express myself in how this house looked more than I ever have anywhere I’ve lived, so the house is very personal to me as well.  But, as Sam reminds me when he sees that wistful look in my eye, we can’t be available for whatever God has in store for us if we are tied to a place, and owning a house definitely ties one down.

So I walk through this house that is no longer my home, and say goodbye to the rooms, and the memories, and the love and laughter.  After all, it’s only a house.  What made it a home was us, and we’re taking “us” with us.  Wherever we go, will be home.

It’s important for me to remember to look at the world that way too.  There’s so much to love here – my family, my friends, all the beauty and wonder and fun and joy…  But as the old song says, this world is not my home, I’m just passing through.  It’s a good thing to enjoy it while I’m here, but to keep in mind that this is a journey, not the final destination.

And while my mind is on moving, I need to do the Oscar speech thing, and thank some people without whom I would never have made it.  Saturday morning I had a moving sale (yes, Friday I had the Neupogen shot, so trying to have a moving sale by myself Saturday sounded like a great idea – NOT.  But there was no other possible time.)  Friday afternoon I realized I was totally drowning trying to get ready for it, plus being physically done, so I put a general SOS on Facebook, and a dear friend Lisa and her daughter Aly came to my rescue.  Not only did they help sort and set up, they brought poster board, signs to tape the poster board to, paint to write on the poster board with, tables to set stuff on… basically, they made the sale happen.  They are amazing people.  (Their family is leaving in a few weeks as missionaries to Honduras, so if you would say a prayer for them it would be wonderful.)  Then Saturday morning my bestie Marty, and my friends Joan and Trisha from community group showed up, along with Trisha’s great kids Jessica and Brandon.  Joan even brought food.  These guys were so fantastic, they eventually made me go in and rest, and ran the thing without me, including the clean up/put away part!  You can’t get better than that.  Then on Sunday my friend Nermin from work showed up and helped pack for half the afternoon.  I swear we have the best friends in the world.  THANKS YOU GUYS!!!!!

Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.  I John 2: 15-17

2 thoughts on “this house is not my home

  1. Ronnie Gatley

    In order to have such wonderful friends you need to be a wonderful friend yourself. Takes one to know one!!! Take care. God is Good

  2. grace haas

    And “THANKS, YOU GUYS!” from us, too! We have been so blessed knowing what wonderful friends Kim and Sam have, friends who have done all the things we would have loved to have been able to do during these past months, and making it bearable to be too far away when our hearts wanted to be there, even now . . . Thank you, all of you, and may God bless you richly.

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