The last couple of days have been an entire rainbow of emotions for me.  Right now I’m sad, and for the silliest, and not-silliest, of reasons.  The silly reason is I was watching a rerun of an old TV show and it made me cry.  The not-silly reason is that it made me cry because it made me miss my daughter, and wish that I could be with her right now, or talk with her more, or spend more time together.  And so right now I’m really sad, and I just want my girl.

Earlier tonight I was really happy.  Sam and I had a lovely evening out celebrating, well, everything.  We had some found money (literally, a Christmas card with money in it from five years ago turned up!) and as I had been too sick to do anything for Valentine’s Day or Sam’s birthday, we decided to have a nice evening out to celebrate the end of chemo and the rest thrown in, with selling the house and getting our new home settled, and Sam’s new job on top.  We went to a nice restaurant (cloth tablecloths and candles!) and had a wonderful time.

When Sam picked me up from work, I was enchanted.  He drove me through a neighborhood that was lined with crabapple trees in every color, all in full bloom.  It was a bright, sunny day and (admitted flower nut that I am) I reacted like a kid looking into a Christmas display window.  Ok, like kids used to react looking at Christmas displays.  Kids don’t get awed and thrilled much anymore, do they?

Yesterday, I was pretty disappointed and disgusted.  I understand being glad if justice has been done.   I understand being relieved that the world is a safer place.  There are times when a person is so evil that there is no other outcome but their death.  But to celebrate in the streets because a human being has been killed – there is something wrong, on a very basic level, with this.  When the world sees America partying and celebrating the death of bin Laden, how are we any different than the ones who had parades on 9/11?

Yesterday, I was also really content and peaceful with moving and selling our happy yellow house.  I had a chance to meet the young couple who are buying it, and they are really nice, sweet kids, just starting out.  And they love the house.  They said they looked at about 30 houses, and knew when they saw ours that it was “the one”.  The wife said she cried when she saw the kitchen.  I wanted someone to love it like I loved it, and since meeting them I haven’t felt sad about leaving once.  And we are getting settled into our new place, and meeting the neighbors, who seem to be about 90% college kids.  Nice kids, serious students, very friendly.  Although right now someone is having a very loud fight in another building.  It’s making me pretty nervous.  Huh – another emotion.

Praise the Lord! Happy are those who fear the Lord. They are not afraid of evil tidings; their hearts are firm, secure in the Lord. Their hearts are steady, they will not be afraid.  Psalm 112: 1a, 7-8a

You, Lord, give true peace to those who depend on you, because they trust you.  So, trust the Lord always, because he is our Rock forever.  Isaiah 26:3-4

Why am I discouraged?  Why is my heart so sad?  I will put my hope in God!  I will praise him again— my Savior and my God.   Psalm 42:5,8

2 thoughts on “emotions

  1. viv christopherson

    I felt it was more about celebrating a military victory, Osama bin Laden had declared war on the USA & now he has been defeated.

  2. Patti Kies

    I was reminded of my first night in my house here on Pleasant St., going to bed and crying myself to sleep because I was so sure I had made a huge mistake moving from the nice quiet farmhouse I had shared with Ken.
    There were LOTS of noisy kids out that night, and I wondered if I would
    ever be comfortable here—-of course, you know how happy I am living
    in my little house!! Thanks for a reminder of how a few days can change
    your outlook!!

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