once more with feeling

Back at the hospital again this morning.  I was scheduled for scans today, so I was going to be there anyway, but I had to go back and get another blood count to see if my white count was high enough or if I had to have a third shot of Neupogen.  (I didn’t!  Yay!)

When I got checked in and my vitals taken (yep, they do it every time, even though I was just there yesterday), I had a fever.  Obviously there was some concern about that, and for a while I was afraid they weren’t going to let me go home.  I was just miserable – in a lot of pain from the Neupogen shots, and unable to take anything for it because I couldn’t eat anything before the scans and I can’t take pain meds without food.  I was pretty nauseated for some reason (maybe the 16 ounces of barium for breakfast) and the pain in my infected toe meant I had to use my cane to get around.  Altogether I was a pretty pathetic picture, and I admit to being a bit teary as I sat waiting to find out if I was going to be admitted.  But the blood count came back somewhat raised, so I was sent home with orders to keep an eye on the fever and drink lots of fluids.

I had really hoped to be past having to just lie in bed all day, but here I am again.  And I don’t even have the energy to want to do anything else.  I wish I had something cheerful and uplifting to say, but the truth is I feel awful.  This infection is making me feel so sick.  It’s just one of those times to hold on and hang in there.  Oh, and wait for the scans to come back so we know for sure that the cancer is GONE.

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.  Psalm 32:7-8

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3 thoughts on “once more with feeling

  1. Hey, sis!
    Staph infections are no laughing matter, but I have to say…it caused me to remember Joel Steinke and Wayne Rhode and the Coffee House drama team called the “Staff Infection Players.”

    But more importantly…may God so surround you with His presence that you are encouraged and sustained, with grace to persevere.

    “…as you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered.” (from James 5:9-10).

    Praying for you.

  2. I was fearing a stay in the hospital for you – SO thankful that you were allowed to go home, even though you are still in such pain. We’re praying the infection will clear up quickly so when you are over the pain from the Neupogen, you will be able to walk normally again. And then we will dance!! Can’t wait to see your beautiful face in a few weeks.

    Call me when you feel up to it.

    Love you – Mom

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