A couple of nights ago I dreamed that I got tired of this white (well, more salt & pepper now) buzz-cut, and decided to dye it red like it’s supposed to be. When I rinsed the hair color off, my hair was dry, which I didn’t think was strange, because it was a dream, but it was also about mid-back length with glossy perfect ringlet curls. Shampoo model hair. Hair that would look ridiculous on me at my age even if I could grow it, but it was sure pretty. I think I’m really getting tired of the GI Jane look. Oh well, it’s cool for the summer. And it really has helped me learn the truth of the concept that I am more than this body, what I look like doesn’t matter as much as what I act like, people won’t like me more or love me less depending on my appearance. It’s been good for me, and a big part of this growing experience. So now that I’ve learned, can I have my hair back?
I have a very sweet aunt who sent me a package as a late birthday gift, along with a really beautiful, encouraging note. In the package was a hot pink long sleeved t-shirt with rhinestone lettering reading “Cancer chose the wrong Diva”. I love it! Like she said in her note, I’m not exactly a diva, but I can be one as far as cancer is concerned.
I’m talking to my supervisor about going back to working more hours. I think that’s a good sign. I’m also cleaning my whole house alone and walking home from work. Oh, and helping carry in groceries – which is a bit of a trip from the parking lot, down a long sidewalk and up some stairs. I’m getting some strength back and starting to feel like a “real girl” again. It’s great, except now that I don’t need to rest and/or sleep for hours after work every day, I’m kind of at a loss for what to do when Sam is at work and I’m here alone with no car. Sometimes the days get pretty long. I have a feeling God has given me this time to accomplish something – I just wish he would give me a clearer idea of what it is. Yesterday I finally figured out how to link Twitter and Facebook, but I don’t really think that was it.
I am re-reading The Search for Significance by Robert McGee. It is one of the very best, most important books I have ever read. Literally life-changing. It is the one book that made the most difference in my Christian life and my understanding of my relationship with God, who I am to him and in him, and what that means in my life every day. I wish every church would have a study group based on it and every Christian would read it. In fact, anyone who is at all interested or curious about God or what we mean to him, or if we can really know him, should read this book, not just Christians. Can you tell I like this book? I’m not even getting a kickback or anything.
God had Christ, who was sinless, take our sin so that we might receive God’s approval through him. 2 Corinthians 5:21
This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him! Romans 8:15-17 msg